I DID.

As it clearly has been quite a few months since I last updated this blog, I thought I'd better make a note that I DID, in fact, create a fantastic vegetable garden.  I do have pictures and other posts that I created and never posted.  Somehow the season just flew by and now I have more food than I know what to do with.  Also, I will never use the term "bumper crop", since it is the stupidest phrase I have encountered in my garden research.  However, I do have a plethora of cucumbers, an endless supply of beets and carrots, a wheelbarrow full of zucchini and squash, a great deal of beans, a nice looking onion patch, a decent potato crop, and a bunch of other things.  The worst producers in el jardin have been the tomatoes and peppers - perhaps caused by bad soil and a week of torrential rains early on.  Also, one lonely ripe musk melon as of yet.  Surprisingly, we will have a small corn crop. 
We also have an annoying group of garden pests - rabbits, deer and chickens.  My roosters think that I grew tomatoes for them.  They will be laughing all the way to the damn freezer, those greedy bastards.  So will the hens if they don't start laying eggs soon.  I do and do and do for you, and this is the thanks I get?!

At this point, I wish that I had a garden buddy, or pal, if you will.  Someone to enjoy the harvest and processing with.  Boiling and preserving pound after pound of beets and beans, shredding zucchini and making bread, attempting to make pickles - these are things that I have found annoying, rather than fun, since I kind of want to share the load with someone.  Its like that story from way back when, "who will help me grow the wheat, who will help me harvest the wheat, who will help me make the bread, who will help me eat the bread...."  Everyone eats but no one helps along the way.  Or, in my household, who will help me waste the bread? Ooh ooh me! me!  Hands flying up all over the place!  I prepare this delicious culinary feast and then throw it away because someone left it out on the kitchen counter until it was moldy/spoiled/rotten.

Hey, thanks for your "help"! The raccoons nosing through the trash will die for that homemade parmesan onion bread and hand shaved coleslaw!  Awesome use of my energy and time! 

I guess the enjoyment is in the process, not the result.  Unless you consider the other result of this summer's garden - an enviable tan and much improved muscle tone, which is very much enjoyed by yours truly!  I think this is the first time in my 30 years that I've ever had the slightest hint of a muscle.  Look out female gladiators!! -------- I still don't want to get in your way, actually.  Also, your muscles are creepy and kind of gross.

In all seriousness, gardening is sort of like accounting (my other passion).....some people love it, and everyone else in the world thinks you are certifiably insane. These things are more similar than you would think.  Accounting also produces great rewards that no one else appreciates.   Accounting also is a task that you can painstakingly labor over for hours, and it appears that nothing got accomplished.  You can create a beautiful harvest (budget/cash flow analysis), and it will get left out on the counter to rot (budget completely ignored and blown/stupid spending/billing decisions).  I still really like both of these things.  Accounting will pay my bills.  Gardening is great mental therapy.  Gardening produces way better tan. 

"I CAN." (The Bee Philosophy)

  I hope I get stung by only one bee this summer. If this happens, that means that I stuck to the bee philosophy, courtesy of Jack Handy. He's a genius friends, and a champion of doing. He says:

"Whenever anyone says “I can’t,” it makes me wish he’d get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says “I’ll try,” five thousand bees. (“I can,” one bee.)"

  Hence, I only expect one bee sting for the rest of my life...unless I get stung once each time I say "I can!" In that case, at least its not all at once. Anyway, I started out a few weeks ago saying, "I'll try." Here was the result:

Two days (yes, I'm a weakling) of shoveling and raking fresh ground to arrive at this sad little patch of dirt. It has pea seeds in it, but they probably said "I can't." Or more likely, "Oh, hell no!" I don't expect much of them. So I moved onwards and upwards to this:

Boom. Done. I'm going to try. Damn. What I meant to say was, I can. This also has pea seeds started, and radishes too. I hope they have a better attitude about growing here.

"I wants ta do it again!!"

Once upon a time, Janet Reno had a dance party and she liked it so much, she wanted to do it again! Okay, so that was Will Ferrell on SNL, but the reference works for me. I'm feeling the same spirit with my new garden spot. I've got a new attitude, a new plot, a renewed desire to have a dance party - and by dance party, I'm talking about "getting down" IN THE DIRT, ya'all. But I (probably) won't be wearing that fabulous blue suit with the shoulder pads. I haven't been able to garden for three years, since I had moved to a small apartment with absolutely no sunlight in the back yard...but now...I've got a new place with a great spread of sunny space to fill. I've got the fresh plot tilled and now face the enormous task of raking it and sowing these seeds. A whole day spent and only a tiny little piece is accomplished thanks to my complete lack of physical activity all winter long. My raking muscles need improvement. Come to think of it, so do my dancing skills. Where the hell is Janet Reno when you need her?! Furthermore, I've had a lot of nay-sayers surrounding the size of my ambition here (my plot is about 45' x 90') and I want it to get even bigger. Everyone is saying things like, "How will you handle that?" "Don't you know how much work that is?!" "I'll believe it when I see it" etc. And to that, I will reprise some of Janet's thoughts to you: "What's that, fist? He talks too much? Then I think it's time for operation shutty uppy." **If you haven't seen Janet Reno's Dance Party, you should, fool.**

More Photos

Photo Update 8/27/09

Some of these photos are a few weeks old. It's been very busy around here!
We lost all of our tomato plants to the blight - same as everyone around our area. Horribly sad too, because we have tons of green tomatoes on the vine, but as they mature, they rot. I'm okay with it only because we have so many other veggies doing great this year! Surprises include potatoes! and Eggplant!

Harvest 08-07-09

Friday's Harvest Below. We also sampled a few pole beans and some cherry tomatoes.

My Mom helped me freeze the generous crop of green & wax beans that I picked on Monday. Kevin picked another few pounds worth yesterday. We'll be filling up the freezer in no time.

I was out of town again this weekend so I did not get to the weeding and planting that I wanted to do. I will have to squeeze it in this week after work as I will not be around this weekend either! Summer has been very busy!

Yesterday, Kevin picked about 8-10 cucumbers (picklers and slicers), another several zucchini and yellow squash, and a few small beet thinnings. His Dad also took some tomatoes and lettuce. (We need all the help we can get using up the lettuce we have. Next year, we will skimp on the lettuce. We cannot keep up.

Bad Blogger - Good Gardener

I do have photos and updates to post, but haven’t found a free minute yet! In a nutshell, I should have ripe tomatoes by this weekend (Cherry and JetStar); I picked about 3 pounds of yellow and green beans this week. We’ve been eating fresh garden salads complete with homegrown greens, carrots, cucumber, and zucchini. Soon to add the tomatoes! Now, if we could only raise the chicken as well!

Zucchini, as usual, as exploding out of nowhere – as in seriously, that was NOT there yesterday!

I’ve actually been running down the garden whenever possible (about 1.25 miles). It feels great, but I lose some ambition to weed after the workout. So weeding is a priority for this weekend.

Also: the peppers are turning colors!! My eyes lit up when I saw a bright flash of orange peeking out from under the pepper leaves! Amazing!

Harvest This Week - Pics to Follow

This is gearing up to be a bountiful Summer in the garden! This week we have massive amounts of yellow wax beans, and a delightful up-and-coming crop of green beans. Pole beans are just starting to blossom.

We ate some of the beans with our last cup of peas with chopped baby carrots - a real life version of the frozen, tasteless "mixed vegetables". The carrots have such intense carrot flavor - sooo delicious. We ate our first zucchini pan fried with parmesean cheese.

We have plenty of green salad to which I have added diced zucchini , store bought tomatoes (boo), grilled chicken and cheese cubes. Light and yummy. Tonight I will also add what little broccoli we have (most of it flowered before it was even worth picking). I might even pick a carrot or two for shredding.

A friend told me that homegrown broccoli grown has little green worms in it and that you need to boil it in salt water before use. The salt water should cause the worms to float to the top. I tried this the other night but found no worms...I hope I didn't eat them!

We also discovered this week that the yellow hot peppers are the perfect kick to add to scrambled eggs. I can't wait for all that is to come!

Harvest

Another harvest with no photograph. What is the matter with me? It was only a bag of Swiss Chard and Lettuce that I brought to my grandmother. It was the first time I have really gotten into the lettuce to notice that there are nice full heads on the buttercrunch and it is all getting so BIG! I am really impressed.

Photo Update - Finally!

Peppers, Lettuce, Potato Patch (not producing anything to speak of)

Tomatoes (unstaked) are falling all over the place but producing well. Beans are going to be plentiful! Notice the giant Marigold "bushes" - we cannot believe how big they are!

The Mesclun and Oregano flowers are so pretty. I almost don't want to pull the Mesclun to replant Fall lettuce!

Harvests

It just occurred to me that I should list our harvests to date. I had hoped to take a photo of each harvest. I will try to do better in terms of photos going forward.

Swiss Chard
Romaine Thinnings
Buttercrunch Thinnings
Peas (Approx 4 cups)
Three Hungarian Wax Peppers
One Jalepeno Pepper
Cilantro
Basil
Broccoli Buttons – Sadly, that is all we got! No head grew big enough to speak of.

Our Garden Rules!

I'd like to brag for a minute and say that our garden is the best around that I have seen! Okay, so I only compared it to the community garden plots, and our friend Frankie's, but still, it is just so glorious! I think the main thing that sets it apart is the structure. Its got dimension, layers, different mediums. The brick walkway, the potato box, the tomato pergola-esque staking technique...it breaks up the monotonous rows. What we need now is a bench to sit an enjoy it.

Garden Beauty - Without Trying!

Yesterday, after returning from a weekend in the Poconos with old friends, Kevin and I took stock of the garden progress. Wow! What a difference a day makes! Or in this case, three days, but still a long time in the July garden world. The plants are finally starting to explode with growth. Our yellow wax beans went from flowering to ready to pick. A sampling was excellent!; the carrots are developing nicely - we thinned the rows and got several baby carrots. A fine change from last year when the rabbits/woodchucks ate them all. We have many, many more peppers - hot varieties and bell. The squash is finally on its way. Lettuce is big and we should have plenty of salad for a while.

Note for next year: Kevin suggested only planting small 2 foot rows of lettuce varieties, with more succession plantings. We just cannot keep up with the huge amounts of greens!

All of the mesclun that I haven't been able to bring myself to pull is HUGE and has pretty white and yellow flowers. I'll bet that Mesclun is not a typical choice for its flowers, but it is so nice to look at I think I might even plant it as a border next year. The contrast with the purple oregano flowers is amazing.

I was skeptical of the Marigolds grown from seed. I didn't even think I liked Marigolds. Turns out, they are a fabulous burst of color and a great addition to the garden. We will certainly do these again next year.

I'll get some photographs up here soon. A garden blog is nothing without pictures!

The Neglectful Gardener - Yep, Me.

I am feeling bad about my lack of gardening this year. For some reason I just cannot get into it - mostly because of the awful "Summer" weather. I was also out of town for a long weekend. Regardless, when I arrived at the garden yesterday after a WEEK of not even setting foot inside the gates...well, lets just say I have my work cut out for me now! And I go out of town again tomorrow! It is nearly impossible to locate the cucumbers under all that grass, the tomatoes still badly need to be staked, the mesclun and broccoli have tons of flowers on them (not really the way these things are supposed to look), and the garden path is overgrown.

On a brighter note, we do have tons of peppers, the lettuce is getting nice and big and the carrots are as well. We have some eggplant flowers, a bounty of tomatoes, many beginner green and yellow beans, and a few baby zucchini and squash.

I need to pull the peas and replant, together with some fall spinach and lettuce, and perhaps more broccoli. Kevin did start the staking process for the tomatoes and I was able to do a bit of weeding.

Weeding and Waiting

I spent an hour at the garden last night trying to tame the out of control weeds and also getting eaten alive by the mosquitos. I wish there was something exciting to report. Things look just about the same as they have for the last two weeks - which is strange considering we are in mid July. We don't even have any flowers yet on the zucchini plants! This constant rain (except for yesterday), cool days and cold nights are just not working for me.